Ah, kids. They’re cute, loveable, and capable of pissing you off like no one you’ve ever met before.
No matter how much you ask, beg, or yell, your precious little ones tend to ignore you as if you’re a dried up boogie on the dining room table. You’ve tried all the recommended techniques but your kids still insist that they’re in charge.
It’s as if they have complete control over your emotions and are relishing in the power. Can’t you just imagine their evil little giggles right now?
Naturally, this can leave a parent or caregiver frustrated and confused about what works and what doesn’t. Has everyone been lying to you about how well time-outs and incentives work? Should you just resort to a good ol’ fashioned beating already?
Luckily you know that you don’t have to go that far because there are plenty of “new” methods of parenting and discipline for you to try. You might even be thinking that reverse psychology might be a good idea.
While it might sound like just the thing that will finally change your child’s attitude, using reverse psychology on children should be avoided at all costs.
The first thing to keep in mind is the fact that you’re encouraging your child to to rebel against you. In elementary school this defiance might seem like no big deal, but it will continue to go on even when your kid is in high school.
Do you remember when you were a teenager and your friends would egg you on to do stuff so stupid that you can’t believe you’re even alive today? Trust me, your kid is going to go through the same thing too. The last thing you want to do is raise a teen who has been taught that it’s good to do the opposite of what their parents say.
Using reverse psychology on children now can lead to your child growing into an adult that feels a sense of satisfaction when they go against a loved one’s wishes. Is that really something you want to encourage?
Another thing to remember is that all children will react differently to different stimuli. If you think about it, the same is true of adults. Let’s use compliments as an example. They can make one person feel self-conscious and make another person feel validated.
So, while reverse psychology might seem to work well on someone else’s kid, your own child might respond in a totally different manner to the “mind games”. Yes, reverse psychology is most definitely a mind game.
The harsh truth is that when you try to trick your child into doing what you want, you’re being just as sneaky as your kids are when they put their boogers on the dining room table. (Can you tell that this is a problem at my house?)
Saying something like “I’ll bet you can’t put all your toys away in less than a minute” might seem harmless, but it is. By telling them that you doubt their abilities you’re essentially lowering your child’s self esteem. You’re also lying to them because you know damn well that they can put those toys away in under a minute.
If they do happen to fall for your trick they’ll just be doing so because they’re on the defense. As a parent your job is to make your child feel secure, not defensive.
All in all, using reverse psychology on children is a bad idea. Doing so could lead to confusion, disobedience and other problems with your child. Why take the risk of raising a difficult brat when this technique might not even work for you?
A better way to get what you want from your kids is to keep the lines of communication as open as possible. Try explaining to your children the reasons you want them to do certain things, and the reasons you want them to avoid doing other things. Being honest and mature is sure to get you better results in the long run.